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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

Left-leaning Voters Proudly Unite Around Right Wing Candidate

April 22, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After decades of division, it seems that someone has finally found a way to unite the left-leaning vote in Canada – a Goldman Sachs banker vowing to move the Liberal Party more to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wakes Up Just In Time for Next Year’s Sunrise Service

April 21, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Kyle Berg, 42, decided he’d set his alarm and get up a year early so he doesn’t miss next year’s sunrise service. “Sleeping in is always a risk for me,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Christians to Stop Killing Other Christians for at Least a Couple Minutes on Easter Sunday

April 20, 2025 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA “Christian” man Vladimir Putin has graciously decided to stop killing fellow Christians for a full fifteen minutes this Easter Sunday. “This is a time when we pause to reflect on our Lord and […]

Unger the Influence

Excluded from Debate, Green Party Told to Fight Amongst Themselves Like Mennonites

April 19, 2025 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC After failing to meet the criteria necessary to participate in the federal leaders debate, the Green Party of Canada has been told to told to fight amongst themselves, instead, “just like the Mennonites.” […]

Unger the Influence

Canadians Excited to Vote in Upcoming False Dichotomy

April 18, 2025 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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