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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mr. Penner Can’t Believe He’s Now in Charge of Walmart

June 13, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After “reading somewheres” about his “frintschoft Greg Penner who’s in charge of all the Valmarts,” Mr. Penner of Vankla decided his familial connection earned him a few privileges. “Time for some changes around here […]

Unger & Thirst

Abbotsford Man Spends All Afternoon on IQ Tester at Ricky’s

June 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Mr. Franz nursed a bowl of Rempel’s Farmer Sausage soup and spent the entire afternoon trying to get to the bottom of this perplexing IQ Tester at his local Ricky’s restaurant. “I’ve been […]

Unger Conviction

The Daily Bonnet Asks: Can You Be Both Christian and Rich?

June 11, 2022 Andrew

It’s a slippery slope. First they said it was okay in the outside world. Then they said we should tolerate them. Now they’re trying to infiltrate our churches. That’s right. Rich people. Don’t get me […]

Unger & Thirst

Made from What’s Real: New Winnipeg Slogan Pays Tribute to City’s Heritage of Sausage Making

June 10, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB The City of Winnipeg has adopted a new slogan as tribute to the community’s long heritage of making really good kubasa and formaworscht using nothing but the most thoroughly-cleaned natural casings. “Some of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Niverville to Honour Patron Saint David Bergen

June 9, 2022 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB After winning a record fifth McNally Robinson Book of the Year award, renowned author David Bergen has been canonized as a saint by the town of Niverville. He will also be the first […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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