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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage

July 12, 2022 Andrew

YARROW, BC Timmy Wiebe of Reinland, Manitoba ventured out to Abbotsford this week and quickly became the first Manitoban ever to dare to try BC farmer sausage. “BC farmer sausage? It doesn’t give such,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Sexy Overalls Declared “Stumbling Block”

July 11, 2022 Andrew

TABER, AB Starting this week, Mennonite men throughout Alberta have been asked to refrain from sporting shit-covered overalls and rubber boots as they’re seen to be a “stumbling block” for single women in the area. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Debit Machine Tip Options Strike Terror Into Mennonite Man

July 10, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. Goertzen enjoyed his lovely meal of schnitzel at Ralph’s German Restaurant this afternoon, but was paralyzed with fear when the debit machine came to the table and he was presented with various […]

Unger & Thirst

Church Picnic Offers Delightful Array of Vegetarian Options

July 9, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Vegetarians at South Winkler Memorial Evangelical Mennonite Bible Church were left with a delectable array of options at the church picnic this week, which included either white or even brown buns. “We’ve got […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Visits Every Single MB Church in the Fraser Valley

July 8, 2022 Andrew

YARROW, BC The Pletts of Yarrow have become the first couple ever to visit every single MB church in the Fraser Valley. “We try to visit about 30 to 40 MB churches per year,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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