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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Protestors Toss Borscht at Van Gogh Painting

October 20, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Protesting the high cost of sunflower seeds, angry Mennonites hurled margarine containers of warmed-up cabbage borscht at the giant Van Gogh painting in Altona, Manitoba this morning. “Well, they attempted to, anyway,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Danielle Smith Flees to La Crete, Alberta

October 19, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB After making a series of ridiculous comments in just her first few days in office, new Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has decided to flee to the most remote location she can think […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Transit Purchases New Fleet of Honda Civics

October 18, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area seniors are really excited that the City of Steinbach has finally approved the long-awaited public transit system. “We’ve contracted 20-year-olds in Honda Civics to pick up any grandmas they see and drive […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man to Corner You at the Water Cooler Tomorrow Morning and Tell You All About the Latest Joe Rogan Podcast

October 17, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area man Jeremy Goertzen is really pumped about something he heard on Joe Rogan recently and is now planning to find you at the water cooler tomorrow morning and tell you all about […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Potluck Offers Incredible Array of Macaroni Salads

October 16, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Attendees at the North Goshen Mennonite Church potluck this past Sunday were in left in absolute shock at the diverse array of macaroni salads on offer. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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