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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Man Consumes All 183 ‘Burger Week’ Burgers

September 6, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Darren Sawatzky, 25, has become the first Winnipegger ever to consume every single ‘Le Burger Week’ burger. “It wasn’t going to be a fair vote unless I tried them all,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Spends 5 Hours Trying to Find the End of a Roll of Tape

September 5, 2023 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE Area man Jim Friesen spent the good part of an afternoon this weekend trying to find the end of a roll of tape. “It was as smooth as an uncut watermelon,” explained Friesen. […]

Unger Suspicion

All Air Canada Flights to be Equipped with Screaming Infants

September 4, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Starting this fall, the coach section of every Air Canada flight will come fully equipped with a minimum of one very agitated baby. “It’s just one more way we can better service our […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Tennis Fan Unaffected by Repetitive Head Turning

September 3, 2023 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Andreas Siemens of Winkler, Manitoba was at the US Open this week where he became the very first fan to ever watch a full day of tennis without significant neck strain. “I’m […]

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeggers Vote for their Favourites During Annual “Le Roll Kuchen Week”

September 2, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There were more than 180 participants in “Le Roll Kuchen” week this year, as eager Winnipeggers clamoured to try the best roll kuchens the city had to offer. “As expected, most of the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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