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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026 Andrew

YARROW, BC There was a buzz in the church lobby at South Yarrow MB this week after the province announced there would be permanent daylight savings. “Oba, I expect savings during at an MCC bag […]

Unger the Influence

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In what just may be the most Steinbach headline in history, Judy Peters reports from Steinbach City Hall on Reimer Avenue this week that mayor Earl Funk and former city councillor Cari Penner […]

Unger the Influence

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026 Andrew

EPSTEIN FILES The US government has launched a surprise full scale attack on the Epstein Files this weekend. “We had to strike and strike hard to prevent the Epstein Files from doing any more damage,” […]

Unger Games

American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey

February 26, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Moments after the US victory on Sunday morning, millions of Canadians have decided they no longer have any interest in the sport of hockey. “President Trump warned us of this very thing,” said […]

Unger Games

Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC President Trump announced this afternoon that he would be awarding Winnipeg Jets/Team USA goaltender Connor Helleybuyck the nation’s highest civilian honour. “And that, of course, is that made up coal trophy I was […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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