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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Mennonite Child Learns Whole New Vocabulary While Dad is Watching the Jets Game

April 28, 2024 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Area child Jeremy Klassen, 7, has expanded his Plautdietsch vocabulary tenfold this afternoon while his father Sam, 39, watched yet another abysmal performance by the Winnipeg Jets.  “Daddy, what does Schinda mean?” wondered […]

Unger Games

Jantsied Beats Ditsied for First Time in 26 Years

April 27, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Oba jo, that was quite the Turnbull Cup as the Jantsied Flyers defeated the Ditsied Pistons 4 games to nothing yet once. “Nah, jung, you finally did it,” said Abe Janzen of Jantsied. […]

Unger & Thirst

Kansas Man Caught Stuffing His Own Bierock

April 25, 2024 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Area man Abe Miller, 37, was caught red handed this afternoon with a spoonful of bierock stuffing. “He had the dough all rolled out and everything,” said his disappointed wife Anne. “He even […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Student Accidentally Enrolls at Carnegie Mellon University

April 24, 2024 Andrew

PITTSBURGH, PA Andrea Enns, 18, of North Kildonan was really looking forward to attending CMU in Winnipeg this fall only to discover that she’d actually enrolled at some university in Pennsylvania instead. “I guess it’s […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Empties Swear Jar to Support ‘My Coins Count’

April 23, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The kids at Hillside Mennonite Church in Winnipeg got an unexpected influx of coins during the ‘My Coins Count’ fundraiser this week. The surge in coinage is all thanks to Mr. Baerg and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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