BOSTON, MA
Renowned anarcho-syndicalist and fierce critic of American foreign policy, professor Noam Chomsky has disclosed his newest and most effective strategy to destroy capitalism–being whisked away in a private jet by Jeffrey Epstein.
“See, you can’t expect to change the system from the grassroots,” said Chomsky. “Instead, if you want to get anything done, you’ve got to do it from at least 40,000 feet above the common people.”
Chomsky claims he was, among other topics, chatting about estate planning with Epstein, which makes perfect sense for someone who’s been preaching an anti-capitalist ideology for more than five decades.
“Even a leftist needs to have his finances in order,” said Chomsky. “Just ask Vladimir Lenin. If he can ride around in a Rolls Royce, surely I can be carted around on Epstein’s private jet.”
While the photos may look bad for Anarchist Professor Noam Chomsky, investigators are still poring through the files in hope of finding some dirt on Nestor Mahkno.
(photo credit: House Committee on Oversight/Photos suggest no wrongdoing/This is satire, Relax)
