MIAMI, FL
The ancient Canaanite deity Baal is super excited to have a statue in his honour placed just outside the Trump golf course in Florida.
“I haven’t been honoured in such a public fashion in thousands of years,” said Baal. “It was about time for a comeback.”
The statue, which portrays US President Donald Trump in a triumphant pose and made entirely of gold, was paid for by crypto bros, but is not believed to be a bribe in any way.
“It was kind of a twofer. Honour the President and our deity Baal at the same time,” said Crypto Bro Dylan. “But we don’t expect anything in return? I mean, what can Baal really give us at this point? I’ve already got enough rain, lightning and fertility.”
Millions of Americans have already bowed down before the statue.
“I must admit it took some getting used to,” said one recent convert to Baal worship. “But my Martha and I just wanted more out of life, you know?”
The surge is Baal worship is a significant break from the long-standing American tradition of worshipping money.
