WASHINGTON, DC
It didn’t take long for recently unemployed Attorney General Pam Bondi to land on her feet.
“The church ladies have always got your back,” said Bondi. “Everyone was coming up to me in the lobby this Sunday to offer their condolences and the chance to live the lifestyle I deserve as an independent distributor.”
Bondi says that prestigious offers from Herbalife, Young Living, and even Amway have really softened the blow from losing her White House job.
“I think I could really do well with Tupperware,” said Bondi. “It doesn’t pay as well as Attorney General, but the ethics are a lot less shady.”
For interested participants, Bondi will be hosting a party in her living room this Tuesday night.
“A free orange peeler for everyone who shows up,” said Bondi. “I got to admit that’s a lot more than Donald Trump ever offered anyone.”
Also in attendance will be former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem who will be selling essential oils and yoga pants.
