VATICAN CITY
As the white smoke finally emerged from the Sistine Chapel, Mennonites across the globe waited with bated breath to find out just whose authority they would be rejecting for the next few years.
“It’s always exciting to have a new Pope to disregard,” said Isaac Yoder of Goshen. “You know, in many ways, he’s not a Pope just for the Catholics, but he’s a Pope to disregard for everyone.”
Yoder was particularly excited to see an American finally get the job.
“For centuries we’ve scoffed at whatever the European in charge had to say,” said Yoder. “So it’ll be nice to roll our eyes at an American for once.”
These kinds words of ecumenism were echoed by several members of the local Lutheran community as well.
“The Pope is basically the only one who can bring Anglicans, Baptists, Lutherans, and Mennonites together,” said Mr. Schmidt. “It’s such a delight to see someone rise to the ranks and take the position of authority we universally reject.”
Not to be outdone, several nominal Catholics in the area said that they basically disregard whatever the Pope says, too.
