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Month: September 2024

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Fe’schluckes On His Own Sausage

September 22, 2024 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Area man Doug Reimer, 68, wandered over to the church kitchen for a snack this week, only to completely fe’schlucke himself on his own sausage on his way back to the couch. “I’ve […]

Unger Suspicion

Tip-flation So “Out of Control” They’re Even Expecting Tips in Winkler

September 21, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Many consumers have noticed tip-flation or “tip creep” in recent years, as customers are being asked for tips in places they’ve never did before such as auto mechanics, fast food restaurants, and Winkler. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plautdietsch Immersion School Opens This Fall

September 20, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB There was a time when Mennonite children had their mouths washed out with soap anytime they uttered a hearty “waut es met die?” on the schoolyard. Things have changed, however, and now […]

Unger Suspicion

Tupperware Bankruptcy Blamed on Margarine Containers

September 18, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Margarine containers are to blame for the bankruptcy, says Tupperware CEO IB Friesen. “It’s hard to compete with a freshly rinsed Becel,” said Friesen. “I’m not going to blame the Mennonites, but neither […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Opens ‘Noah’s Ark Encounter’ in His Basement

September 17, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Pete Brandt has made the best of his basement flooding situation, by tossing a couple plastic giraffes down there and charging admission. “Yeah, so now that the basement living room is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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