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Month: September 2024

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift ‘Devastated’ After Man Far Outside Her Target Demographic Plans to Boycott Her

September 16, 2024 Andrew

WEST READING, PA A 73-year-old retired farmer named Abe Wiens is planning a one-man boycott of Taylor Swift this week after he discovered she doesn’t support his preferred political candidate. “I’m sure she’s devastated,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

World’s Luckiest Mennonite Woman Scores ‘George’ and ‘Joe Fresh’ Blouses at Local Thrift Store

September 15, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mrs. Carol Ens could not believe her luck this week at the local thrift store after she discovered several “name brand” blouses on the rack. “Would you look at that! George brand! […]

Unger the Influence

“I meant hot dogs and catsup,” claims candidate

September 13, 2024 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA A US Presidential candidate is now claiming he was talking about “hot dogs and catsup” and that the media is just twisting his words to make him look bad. “I like a good […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Finally Have their Own Section at the Bookstore

September 12, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A prominent sign has been installed at Winnipeg’s favourite bookstore McNally Robinson that points costumers to the bargain section. “Finally a section for us Mennonites,” said book lover Erin Neufeld. “Got to get […]

Unger the Influence

MLA Caught Using Cell Phone Forced to Pick it Up in Wab Kinew’s Office

September 10, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Sources won’t tell us if it was Kelvin Goertzen or Josh Guenther or even Carrie Hiebert. All we know is that one MLA was caught using a cell phone in the legislature this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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