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Month: June 2024

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Looking Forward to Those New Smoked Cheese Curds

June 6, 2024 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB It made headlines across the Mennonite world – fire at Bothwell Cheese! Thankfully the headline in The Carillon declared “Cheese Supply safe!” which had Mennonites breathing a sigh of relief … and […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites to Spend ‘Pride Month’ Pretending to be Humble

June 4, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Concerned about the increase in pride during the month of June, several Mennonite churches in the area have vowed to really show off their humility this month instead. “No one’s as humble as […]

Unger & Thirst

Canadian Woman Confuses Vegemite for Nutella

June 3, 2024 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Area woman Erin Klassen of Abbotsford was about to enjoy a delightful snack of Nutella on bread, while she sat down to watch season 3 of The Bear this evening. However, Klassen’s snack […]

The Daily Bonnet

Gen Z Adopts Mennonite Tradition of Covering their Ankles

June 2, 2024 Andrew

MARTENSVILLE, SK 23-year-old Gen Z influencer Evelen Sawatzky of Martensville has a message for Millenials out there – “cover your ankles!” “If you want to look old and out-of-fashion, then keep on wearing those ankle […]

The Daily Bonnet

Trad Wife Discovered at Mennonite Museum

June 1, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of Winnipegers have flocked to Steinbach this spring to get a glimpse of the latest Internet trend – the trad wife. The highest concentration of these trad wives seems to be at […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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