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Month: June 2024

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Consume Record Numbers of Rapple Chaps During Stanley Cup Final

June 24, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Stores across the Canadian prairies are all out of rapple chaps this evening, as Mennonites stock up for the big game. “We’ve got everything you need for a Stanley Cup party,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Woman Calls Police About Long Line at Krispy Kreme

June 23, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Mrs. Hiebert, 81, of Steinbach called in a police report this morning after she noticed a long time of vehicles stretching all the way from the new Kripsy Kreme in Winnipeg, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Schedules Mandatory Church Meeting During Game 7

June 22, 2024 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Pastor John of the North Edmonton Mennonite made sure to schedule a important mandatory Bruderhof meeting for Monday evening as soon as he found out the Oilers had made it to game 7. […]

Unger Games

Golf Course Features Extra Big Holes to Make it Easier on New Golfers

June 21, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB The new Mitchell Links is reaching out to a new generation of golfers by featuring “holes so big even your Uncle Abe won’t miss it.” The course holes have been expanded and now […]

Unger & Thirst

Schmaunt Fat Confused for Waffle Sauce

June 20, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It all turned out to be a happy accident, as a bucket of schmaunt fat was confused for waffle sauce, much to the delight of the dozens of eager waffle eaters lined up […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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