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Month: July 2023

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Features First Air Conditioned Sanctuary in Town

July 25, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of eager worshippers flocked to South Elmwood Mennonite Church this Sunday to experience their first ever summer service without pit stains. “Ahhh, this is the life,” said new parishioner Jack Baerg, who […]

Unger Suspicion

Twitter Unveils New Logo

July 24, 2023 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA There have been a lot changes over at Twitter since Elon Musk took over including, but not limited to, a brand new logo that looks eerily familiar to neighbouring Mennonites over in […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Barbenreimer’ Craze Strikes Rural Saskatchewan

July 23, 2023 Andrew

HAGUE, SK It seems that the Mennonite ban on attending movie theatres is over, as thousands of Mennos flocked to local cinemas this weekend to see either the new Barbie movie or the long-awaited docudrama […]

Unger Suspicion

Jason Aldean Releases Controversial New Song “Try That In A Small Mennonite Town”

July 22, 2023 Andrew

LAIRD, SK Following in the tradition of anti-protest-protest songs like “Oskie from Muskogee,” bro-country superstar Jason Aldean has just released a brand new song that describes the passive aggressive response one might face in a […]

Daily Bonnet

Kanadier Stowaway Discovered on Russlaender Train

July 21, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Russlaender 100 historical train trip took an unexpected turn this week after an uninvited guest was discovered on board — a Kanadier. “I was just minding my own business in the bar […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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