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Month: March 2023

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis

March 21, 2023 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Unlike a significant number of her contemporaries, Mrs. Broesky of Linden, Alberta was completely unconcerned this week about the banking crisis south of the border. “Oba, I was getting messages on the WhatsApp […]

Unger Games

Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA The quilting club at the Fresno First and Last Mennonite Church received an anonymous donation of fabric this past week, which they immediately set out to fashioning into a wonderful new quilt. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

James Reimer Declines to Wear ‘Violent’ San Jose Sharks Jersey

March 19, 2023 Andrew

SAN JOSE, CA Saying that the violent imagery goes against his religion, San Jose Sharks goalie James Reimer has declined to wear the team’s jersey. “It’s something that has weighed heavily on my conscience ever […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Refuses to Watch ‘Women Talking’ but Really Loves ‘12 Angry Men’

March 18, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local film buff, Abe B. Dyck, 68, says he has absolutely no interest in watching a film called Women Talking, saying he usually spends his weekends rewatching 12 Angry Men over and over. […]

Unger Suspicion

“Road Conditions” Keep Winnipeggers from Leaving the City to Visit the Relatives

March 17, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Icy roads were just the latest in a long series of reasons why the Pletts of North Kildonan will not be visiting their frintschoft in Altona this weekend. “Here we are trying to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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