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Month: October 2021

Unger Conviction

Christian Service Brigade Defends Church Basement from Invading Pioneer Girls

October 21, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than two dozen Tadpoles and Treeclimbers ran for cover behind upturned Chesterfields in the Youth Room last night as the Pioneer Girls stormed into the basement to sew badges onto their sashes. […]

Unger Suspicion

Evander Kane Caught with Fake Low German Vaccine Sticker

October 20, 2021 Andrew

SAN JOSE, CA Troubled San Jose Sharks forward Evander Kane is facing suspension this week after being caught with a totally fake Plautdietsch vaccine sticker. “I picked it up in Fresno,” said Kane in his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Alberta Mennonites Vote to Keep Daylight Savings

October 19, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB There has been considerable discussion over the past few years about the possibility of getting rid of Daily Savings time. While most are in favour of doing away with it, a strong […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Having Real Difficulty Solving this Maze

October 18, 2021 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Local man Peter Hildebrandt, 61, was one of, like, fifteen Ontarians who managed to successfully obtain their QR codes today, but spent the better part of the afternoon trying to solve the darn […]

Unger & Thirst

Glass at Edge of Table Patiently Awaits Refill

October 17, 2021 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Andy Koop, 81, placed his empty glass at the edge of the table at the Hamm Dawg Haus this Sunday in an effort to alert serving staff of his urgent need […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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