The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Month: May 2020

Unger Games

Brandon Wheat Kings Qualify for Expanded NHL Playoffs

May 26, 2020 Andrew

BRANDON, MB NHL commissioner Gary Bettman announced an expanded NHL playoff schedule that will include more than three thousand teams, including the Brandon Wheat Kings, Winkler Flyers, and Avangard Omsk. “After all the hardship we’ve […]

Unger & Thirst

Resourceful Mennonite Woman Makes Do With Hamburger Patties and Hot Dog Buns

May 25, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB It was a peculiar combination, but Mrs. Doerksen managed to hold a Doerksen family BBQ this weekend even though she’d completely run out of hamburger buns. “Mench ekj saj, the hamburgers come in […]

Unger & Thirst

How To Knack Your Zoat While Wearing A Mask

May 24, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Researchers at the University of Jantsied have spent the past two months solving the greatest challenge facing Mennonites these days: how to knack your zoat while wearing a face mask. Thanks to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

NASA Report: Mennonites Live in Parallel Universe Where Time Runs Backwards

May 23, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Observations into deep space have recently uncovered strong evidence that Mennonites are all living in a parallel universe where time runs backwards. “According to our studies, it seems that the Big Bang created […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach’s Mary Browns Can’t Figure Out Which One of them Opened that New Restaurant

May 22, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than two dozen Mary Browns from the Steinbach area gathered in the parking lot out by Walmart today trying to figure out which one of them was responsible for this new chicken […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 … 7 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Woman Nearly Fe’schluckes Herself
    February 22, 2018
  • Email Scandal Rocks Tiny Mennonite Church
    July 26, 2016
  • Mennonites Gather in Steinbach for Annual Meeting of Double Cousins
    August 16, 2025
  • Mennonite Funeral to be Followed by ‘Girl Dinner’ in Church Gymnasium
    December 2, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Refuses to Watch ‘Women Talking’ but Really Loves ‘12 Angry Men’
    March 18, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved