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Month: May 2018

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Charged With Adding an ‘S’ to the End of Every Word

May 9, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Longtime Steinbach resident Peter Fehr, 76, has been arrested and charged with excessive ‘S’ usage after undercover police overhead him referring to the neighbouring town of Ste-Anne, Manitoba as ‘Ste-Annes’ on numerous occasions. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Why that Mennonite Boy is Not Texting You Back

May 9, 2018 Andrew

The worst thing about dating these days is when your crush takes, like, totally forever to text you back or doesn’t text back at all! Well I’ve texted with many Mennonite boys, so I know […]

Unger Suspicion

World’s Largest Snake Den Discovered in Manitoba Legislature

May 8, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba Conservation officers were called to the Legislative Buildings in Winnipeg this week after a den of more than 10,000 garter snakes were discovered to have taken over the entire upper floor. The […]

Unger Suspicion

The Best Mennonite Pop Culture References

May 7, 2018 Andrew

When it comes to pop culture references, it seems our cousins the Amish get all the attention. Englishers probably consider them more “exotic,” and therefore more cinematic or something. Yes, there are plenty of books […]

Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Residents Excited for Opening of New Petting Zoo on Main Street

May 6, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Families throughout Southeast Manitoba are waking up early this morning, trying to be first in line outside the new Giant Tiger on Main Street. “I got all the kids ready to go at […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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