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Month: April 2017

The Daily Bonnet

Gangs of Rebellious Seniors Invade Steinbach on Their ‘Kick Ass Harleys’

April 8, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since the snow melted this spring, mobility scooters have been out in full force in Steinbach, as gangs of wily Mennonite seniors take over the city. “We were too badass for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Ventures Into Osborne Village

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Petey and Aganetha Hiebert of Altona, Manitoba found themselves in the “den of iniquity” after a GPS error led them to the Osborne Village neighbourhood of Winnipeg. “Oba, nay! Would you look at […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Pothole Swallows Entire Mennonite Family

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After more than a week of searching, a local Mennonite family has been declared ‘officially lost’ after their horse and buggy plummeted into a gigantic pothole on Henderson Highway at the end of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Try Your Hand at Mennonite Mad Libs!

April 6, 2017 Andrew

For decades, children have entertained themselves on long road trips by filling in the blanks on the popular Mad Libs sheets. For your endless amusement, here is a Mennonite Mad Lib-style game. Instructions: Print off […]

Unger Suspicion

Local McDonald’s Offering ‘Free Vasectomy With Purchase’

April 5, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Due to overcrowding in the play room, a local McDonald’s has set up a mobile vasectomy clinic in the parking lot as service to the many families that stop by each day. “We’re […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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