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Month: March 2017

Unger Conviction

Thousands of Mennonites Miss Church Due to Time Change

March 12, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Mennonite churches across North America were half full this morning as thousands of church-goers slept in due to the time change. “My first thought, as it always is whenever attendance is low was, ‘oh, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Disappointed with Russian Mennonite Mail Order Bride

March 11, 2017 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB After spending most of his life as a bachelor, 43-year-old Edmonton resident, Jeremy Robertson, decided to purchase a Russian mail order bride with the money he inherited from his Great Uncle Bobby. The bride, however, […]

The Daily Bonnet

My Grandma Doesn’t Believe This Photo Will Reach Around the World

March 10, 2017 Andrew

My dear old grandmother, Aganeta Penner, doesn’t believe this photo will reach around the world, so to teach her about Internet safety, I’ve decided to run a social experiment to show her just how far […]

The Daily Bonnet

Five Common Misconceptions About Mennonites

March 9, 2017 Andrew

To outsiders, Mennonites may seem like a perplexing group with peculiar customs. This unfamiliarity has caused a number of misconceptions about Mennonites. The Daily Bonnet is here to correct some of these errors. Misconception: Mennonites […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Uses the Same Tea Bag for a Record Ten Years

March 8, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Area woman Ms. Deloris B. Pankratz has just tied the Blumenort record for continual use of a single tea bag. Reporters throughout the region will be present at her afternoon lady’s Bible study tomorrow […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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