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Day: January 2, 2017

Unger Suspicion

Trump Manages to Convince Mennonite Autoharp Player to Perform at Inauguration

January 2, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After dozens of A-list musicians declined the opportunity to perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration on January 20, a tweet by the President-elect suggests that he may have finally found someone willing to play. “I’m […]

Unger & Thirst

Global Mennonite Weight Increases 50 Million Pounds Over the Holiday Season

January 2, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Scientists at the Center for Mennonite Health in Lancaster, Pennsylvania have estimated that the collective weight of Mennonites on planet Earth reached 420 million pounds during the 2016 holiday season, an increase of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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