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Month: June 2016

The Daily Bonnet

Mother-of-the-Bride Insists on Having “The Talk” Moments Before Daughter Walks Down the Aisle

June 25, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After neglecting to say anything at all about the topic over the past twenty years, concerned mother Brenda Harms waited at the doors of the Steinbach Gospel Mennonite Church for her daughter to […]

Unger Games

Televangelist Predicts the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to Win the 2016 Grey Cup

June 24, 2016 Andrew

ROLLAND HILLS, MI Crackpot television prophet Dr. Jack von Empel has recently predicted that the lowly Winnipeg Blue Bombers, who play their home opener today, will win the Grey Cup in 2016. “I really like what […]

The Daily Bonnet

City Media Seeks Rural Folks Willing to Make Sensationalistic Comments on Camera

June 23, 2016 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Always looking for an entertaining story that paints Taber with a wide brush, media outlets from the provincial capital have issued an open casting call for any Taber folks willing to go on […]

Unger Suspicion

Hardworking Family of Russian Mennonites Offers to Replace UK in the European Union

June 23, 2016 Andrew

LONDON, UK Today is a historic day as British voters will decide whether or not the United Kingdom will remain part of the European Union. Polls suggest the vote will be tight and, in the […]

Unger Games

NHL Announces Expansion to Tiny Mennonite Village

June 22, 2016 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB Commissioner Gary Bettman was in southern Manitoba on Wednesday to announce the expansion of the NHL to Las Vegas, Nevada and also to the tiny Mennonite village of Neubergthal, just south of Altona. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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