WASHINGTON, DC
The White House just announced this week they’d be creating a $1.8 billion slush fund, specifically designed to provide Trump and his buddies with a neverending supply of 7-11 Slurpees.
“I’ve hand-selected a five-man committee to dole out the Slurpees,” said Trump. “Pepsi, Mountain Dew, root beer. You name it, we’ll be drinking it.”
Anyone interested in a free Slurpee is asked to meet on the White House front lawn this Saturday afternoon.
“We’ll even let you mix and match,” said Trump. “It’s going to be one delicious summer, I can tell you that.”
Also in the works is a plan to provide each of Trump’s top donors with a lifetime supply of buffalo chicken taquitos.
