The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

yerba mate

The Daily Bonnet

Janitor Left to Clean Up Huge Mess After Mennonite Women “Spill the Tea”

January 31, 2025 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Darren Klippenstein, janitor at Fifth Mennonite Church in Grunthal, rushed to the scene this evening after he heard the Women’s Quilting Club had spent all evening “spilling the tea.” “We didn’t make much […]

Unger the Influence

Angry MP Calls Yerba Mate Gourds ‘Woke’

May 9, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Conservative MP Lindsey Rude says she’s sick and tired of all the environmentally-friendly yerba mate gourds she sees around town. “The gourds are bad enough,” said Rude, “but they’ve even got those woke […]

Unger & Thirst

Argentina Runs Out of Yerba Mate Moments After World Cup Victory

December 18, 2022 Andrew

LA PAMPA COLONY, ARGENTINA After consuming more than 100 million kilos of yerba mate in just 90 minutes, the supply of green leafy tea in the World Cup champion nation of Argentina, is now completely […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Distributing Yerba Mate on Halloween

November 1, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Children across Altona were coming home with handfuls of yerba mate last night after Mrs. Kroeker ran out of Halloween candy and decided to make do with what she had around the house. […]

Unger & Thirst

7-11 Introduces New ‘Mennonite Slurpee’

August 16, 2022 Andrew

ROSENGART, MB The yerba mate will be flowing like frozen Papsi this summer, as more than a dozen 7-11 stores in the Pembina Valley darpa will be offering a new product known as the ‘Mennonite […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Woman Denied Boarding for Carrying Two Ice Cream Pails of Jreewe
    June 6, 2022
  • Children Support Literacy By Reading to Hockey Players
    February 16, 2018
  • Pipeline to Supply Calgary With Toronto Water
    July 17, 2024
  • A List of Better Secular Alternatives to Wholesome Christian Rock Bands
    June 27, 2018
  • Study Reveals 70% of Mennonites Don’t Know All the Dance Moves to Hymn 606
    November 11, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved