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winnipeg jets

Unger Suspicion

Dustin Byfuglien Retires from NHL to Work on Mennonite Farm

October 25, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mysteriously absent from the Winnipeg Jets lineup so far this season, rumours have surfaced that Dustin Byfuglien is contemplating retirement to pursue his lifelong dream of working for minimum wage on a Mennonite […]

Unger Games

Desperate Winnipeg Jets Recruiting Farm Boys Near Kleefeld

July 16, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After losing player after player to free agency this summer, the Winnipeg Jets have had to get a little creative to fill their roster for next season. “We’re basically going out into the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Man Blames the Refs for Every Single Problem in His Life

April 22, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Darren Wiebe, 58, of North Kildonan just couldn’t see any other way for the Jets’ first round playoff loss than to blame the refs. Wiebe also blames the refs for his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Sneak In Quick Meddachschlop During Second Intermission

April 16, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Earl Klassen normally stocks up on beer and pretzels during the intermission, but for some reason tonight he felt compelled to flop down on the master bed and take a nap […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Players Required to Sleep with Plastic Sheets on their Beds

April 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After yet another horrid performance tonight, the mothers of all the Winnipeg Jets players have required their sons to sleep with plastic sheets on their beds from now on. “I know they’re grown […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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