The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

theft

The Daily Bonnet

Thrift Store Prices Still Not Cheap Enough for Mennonite Thieves

November 6, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Soaring prices at local thrift stores have forced some unscrupulous Mennonites into shoplifting in order to obtain the rubber boots and crocheted doilies needed for bare survival. “When I saw the prices, I had no other choice,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Oscar Host Jimmy Kimmel Stolen at After Party

March 6, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA It seems security was more relaxed than usual at Oscar after-parties this week. Just moments after Best Actress winner Frances McDormand’s trophy was stolen, Academy Awards host Jimmy Kimmel was also reported missing. […]

Unger Conviction

Offering Plate is Always Mysteriously Empty After it Passes By Old Mr. Klassen’s Row

December 11, 2016 Andrew

ALT-BERGFELD, MB Ushers at Alt-Bergfeld Mennonite Church are baffled by how utterly empty the offering plate is whenever it passes by Mr. Klassen’s row. “We just can’t figure it out,” said Mr. Friesen. “I’ve ushered […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Massive Usher Shortage Shuts Down Mennonite Church this Summer
    July 16, 2023
  • Royal Canadian Mint Brings Back the Penny Just to Have Some Place to Put King Charles
    November 14, 2023
  • Young Man Comes Out as Vegetarian
    November 27, 2016
  • Panic Strikes Bible Camp After Tuck Shop Runs Out of Doritos and Pepsi
    July 31, 2019
  • World Anabaptist Olympics Begin Today
    August 5, 2016

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved