The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

surnames

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather for Nationwide ‘No Krahns’ Protests

October 19, 2025 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Millions of Mennonites across the United States gathered for what they had heard was going to be a ‘No Krahns’ protest. “It’s about time we sent those Krahns back to Canada,” said […]

Unger Games

Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly

June 20, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets scored a major coup this week after signing hometown hero and NHL legend Jonathan Toews, who, according to rumours, signed with the team exclusively because “they’re the only ones who […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Welcomes New Law Firm ‘Friesen Froese Harder’

February 6, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites across Manitoba are excited about the new law firm Friesen Froese Harder that just opened up this week on Henderson Highway. “It was minus 35 on the day of our grand opening,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Why is Loewen pronounced “Low-en” and Toews pronounced “Taves”?

February 1, 2025 Andrew

Of all the mysteries that have befallen the Mennonite community over the centuries, the most baffling is why Loewen is pronounced “Low-en” and Toews is pronounced “Taves.” For consistency they should either be pronounced Layven […]

Unger Games

Hockey Player Suspended 5 Games for Calling Jonathan Toews a ‘Mennonite’

November 12, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After an unseemly incident in London, Ontario this week, the NHL has decided to ban players from calling Mennonites Mennonites. “What’s next? Someone’s going to call Jonathan Toews a Mennonite? Oba nay!” said […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 13 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Hutterite Colony Team to Join NHL’s 4 Nations Face-Off
    February 12, 2025
  • Landmark, Manitoba to Run Out of Pletts By the Year 2020
    November 7, 2016
  • NHL Says 11 Players Have Tested Positive for Mullets
    June 19, 2020
  • Rubbers Completely Fill Mennonite Church Lobby
    December 27, 2017
  • Frustrated Mennonite Man Still Waiting for His Cookies
    April 28, 2021

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved