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Unger Suspicion

Smoke Detector Battery Conveniently Programmed to Expire and Chirp Loudly at 2 in the Morning

December 5, 2023 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB After five years of hard work keeping the family safe, a 9V battery in the Loewen home over in Mitchell is set to conveniently expire and chirp incessantly starting at about 2 this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Premier Goertzen Declares First Monday in September ‘Meddachschlop Day’

September 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In his first order of business as new Manitoba premier, Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen declared the first Monday in September to be ‘Meddachschlop Day.’ “Normally we’re only having a mid-afternoon nap on Sundays […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Convinced New Pfizer Shot Gives Him More Stamina During Meddachschlop

May 17, 2021 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Gordon Klassen, 49, of Rosenort was very excited to get the new Pfizer shot and is absolutely convinced it has had some added benefits. “Besides just preventing me from getting Covid, I get […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Warns ‘No Casual Meddachschlop During Public Health Crisis’

March 31, 2020 Andrew

SANTA CLARA, MEXICO Public health officials and church leaders are warning Mennonites across North America to refrain from casual meddachschlop with random partners for the duration of the current crisis. “Unless you’ve got a California […]

The Daily Bonnet

Meddachschlop Over 60: Five Tips for Mennonite Seniors

February 3, 2020 Andrew

As we age, many things that we took for granted as young Mennonites start to become more difficult. Plowing is hard on the back. Hitting that high note during the Vespers service becomes a challenge. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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