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Unger Suspicion

New Evidence Suggests Second Amendment Was All Just Satire

February 24, 2018 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Historians at a prominent American university have uncovered evidence that may radically alter our perception of the supposed “right to keep and bear arms.” According to recently uncovered documents, the entire Second Amendment […]

Unger Suspicion

Top Five Things Revealed in JFK Files (for Mennonites)

October 27, 2017 Andrew

President Trump has recently declassified hundreds of files associated with the JFK assassination. Daily Bonnet fact-checkers spent hours perusing the files and discovered numerous facts that are of interest to Mennonites. Here is a selection […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Pastor Pardons Thanksgiving Farmer Sausage

November 24, 2016 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN By now it’s an annual tradition. When the President pardons a Thanksgiving turkey at the White House, thus sparing it from certain death, a Mennonite pastor in small town Minnesota also pardons […]

Unger Suspicion

Voters Head to the Polls to Select the 45th Lesser Evil of the United States

November 8, 2016 Andrew

PARIS, TX In a potentially historic election, American voters will head to the polls today to select the new Lesser Evil of the United States. “I’m confused,” said local rancher and undecided voter Dwight Owens, 37, of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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