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politics

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking News! No Abes Running for Steinbach City Council this Term!

September 30, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s the most shocking revelation of the 2018 campaign season: for the first time in Steinbach history, the list of city council candidates is completely Abe-less. Instead the list of candidates includes an […]

Unger Suspicion

Doug Ford Vows to Downsize Mennonite Elder Boards

September 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Ontario Premier Doug Ford says he plans in invoke the “notwithstanding clause” to defend his efforts to reduce the number of elders on local Mennonite church boards. “The elder boards in the Kitchener-Waterloo […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Politician Splits from Conservatives to Form the Tupperware Party

August 23, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It seems Maxine Bernier is not the only one leaving the Conservative Party to form one of his own. Mennonite MP Cassandra Petkau of the Neuhochenfeld Riding has become disgruntled and is seeking […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Finally Legalizes Sundae Shopping

August 19, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Things sure are changing in the growing city of Steinbach. After heated debate this week, Steinbach city council voted 4 to 3 in favour of legalizing sundae shopping. “This is something that has […]

Unger Suspicion

Saudi Arabia to Remove All Statues of Justin Trudeau

August 14, 2018 Andrew

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA After an online Twitter war with the Canadian Prime Minister about human rights, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has made the decision to “immediately remove any and all statues of Justin Trudeau […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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