Unger Conviction
Mennonite Man Confesses to Voting NDP
REINLAND, MB Local man and former church deacon Mr. Rempel was forced to go up in front of his congregation this week and apologize after it was discovered he had voted NDP in two of […]
politics
Unger Suspicion
World Health Organization Bans Reading Internet Comments
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND A new study from the World Health Organization has revealed a new number one killer around the world: reading online comments. In 2018 alone, comment-reading was known to have caused more than two […]
Unger Suspicion
Trudeau to Teach Ethics Class at Local Community College this Fall
ST. CATHARINES, ON Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has just been hired to a teach a 3 credit hour Ethics course at a local community college this fall. “It’s a historical survey of ethics from […]
Unger Suspicion
Crazy Unpatriotic Canadian Celebrates 4th of July Three Days Early
KITCHENER, ON Concerned citizen Mr. Yoder of Lancaster is livid this week after discovering that Canadians celebrate the 4th of July a full three days early. “It’s disgusting! Those Canadians have no patriotism at all!” […]
Unger Suspicion
Embarrassed Manitoba Premier Seeks Treatment for Premature Election
WINNIPEG, MB Yes, men, it happens to everybody. Even the Premier of Manitoba. Once thought to have the “strength and stamina of a mule,” this week Premier Pallister suffered an embarrassing bout of premature election. […]