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pickles

Unger & Thirst

Fisherman Hired to Extract Last Pickle from Jar

May 30, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Neil Reimer has been awakened from his meddaschlop this afternoon to attend to an emergency at the Klassen gathering. “Get here fast, Neil,” said Mrs. Klassen, “and bring your rod and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Spends 8 Hours Trying to Extract Stubborn Pickles at Top of Jar

September 9, 2024 Andrew

COALDALE, AB Area woman Diane Toews got up early this morning knowing she was going to need a bit of extra time to extract the pickles, but it was all for naught. “Faspa was over […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Saves Millions by Pickling the Watermelon Rinds

July 3, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB The Driedgers of Rosetown have found a lucrative new way to save a bit of money – pickling their watermelon rinds. “With the amount my Stanley eats each years, we could be talking […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Invents New Sport, ‘Dill Pickleball’

November 8, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Not content to play regular pickleball like the Englishers, area woman Ruth Loeppky is hoping a little dill and a lot of love will revolutionize recreation options in southern Manitoba. “Mennonites consume more […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Funeral Movie ‘The Burial’ Shocks Audiences with Sheer Lack of Pickles

October 18, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Producers of the highly-anticipated Mennonite funeral thriller The Burial have opted to stretch the truth a little and remove all references to pickles and/or raisin buns from the movie. “Oba, a movie about the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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