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movies

The Daily Bonnet

‘Artsy’ Mennonite Director to Release Documentary ‘My Vanapag’

February 14, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Guy Martens, an independant film-maker from North Kildonan who specializes in making films “da way ve used to in the good old days before sound took over and ruined averyting,” is set […]

Unger Suspicion

Hollywood Actor Presented with Annual “Even More Self-Righteous than a Mennonite” Award

February 11, 2020 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The annual Hollywood Self-Righteousness Awards were handed out on Sunday, with the top designation ‘Even More Self-Righteous than a Mennonite’ going to actor Joaquin Phoenix. “I’d like to thank the Academy of Unwarranted […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Eats All Her Popcorn Before the Movie Even Starts

February 4, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman, Mrs. Unrau, 41, arrived early to see Little Women for the fifth time and decided to order a bag of popcorn. Sadly for Mrs. Unrau, however, the popcorn in question was completely […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Still Has ‘Menno’s Reins’ Theme Song Stuck in His Head

January 14, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB After numerous screenings of the classic ‘Menno’s Reins’ in youth group back in the 70s, local man Peter Toews still has the theme song stuck in his head more than forty years […]

Unger Suspicion

Ricky Gervais Roasts “Mennonite Elites” at Annual Sunday School Attendance Awards

January 8, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH The cream of the crop of the Mennonite world gathered at the Holmes County Motel 6 this week to celebrate the annual Sunday School Attendance Awards. The evening is normally a celebration […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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