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marriage

The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Not Nearly as Rich as Huge Wad of Canadian Tire Money Suggests

May 27, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Over the years, local couple Bert and Paula Siemens have accumulated a large stash of Canadian Tire money. However, when the couple went to their local Canadian Tire store to spend it, they quickly […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Finally Consummates Marriage on Fifth Wedding Anniversary

May 12, 2017 Andrew

HEUBODEN, MB After five years of a happy yet celibate marriage, local couple Mary and Henry Funk figured they were finally ready to set their Scrabble board aside and take their relationship to the next level. “In […]

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Vaxxer to Marry Flat-Earther

May 7, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK When committed anti-vaxxer Bertha Epp met flat-earther Harry Froese on an online message board last fall, it only took Bertha two hours of chatting to know Harry was the man for her. “We both […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Most Effective Mennonite Pick-Up Lines

May 6, 2017 Andrew

The Daily Bonnet sent out a team of single people (spinsters, grumpy old men, young people being pressured by their frintschoft to ‘get married already’, etc.) to try out their best pick-up lines. Their effectiveness […]

Unger Conviction

Church Singles Group Disbanded After Three Decades Without Success

April 25, 2017 Andrew

DALMENY, SK When Linda, Dan, Albert, Annie, Susan, and Paul held the inaugural meeting of the West Dalmeny EMB Singles Group back in 1987, all of them had high hopes that their desire for a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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