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low german

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Baptized in Low German Forced to Do it Over Again in High German

March 14, 2022 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE A bunch of Friesens will have be rebaptized this week after it was discovered that Pastor John had been using Plautdietsch when he should have been using High German. “Everyone knows the Bible […]

The Daily Bonnet

Truckers Now Honking in Fluent Plautdietsch

February 9, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Linguists at the University of Southern La Crete have finally uncovered the hidden language behind the incessant honking of horns heard in cities across Canada: Low German. “I know it may sounds like […]

Unger Suspicion

Evander Kane Caught with Fake Low German Vaccine Sticker

October 20, 2021 Andrew

SAN JOSE, CA Troubled San Jose Sharks forward Evander Kane is facing suspension this week after being caught with a totally fake Plautdietsch vaccine sticker. “I picked it up in Fresno,” said Kane in his […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Accidentally Speaks Plautdietsch on a Sunday

May 30, 2021 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO Mr. Wiebe, 41, was so enraptured in a conversation after church this Sunday that he hardly even noticed he was speaking Plautdietsch rather than the Lord’s language of High German. “Oba, waut de […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plautdietsch Ranked as ‘World’s Saxiest Accent’

April 23, 2021 Andrew

SCHÖNWIESE, MEXICO Move over French, there’s a new accent in town: Plautdietsch! According to a new survey conducted by Guillermo Toews of Schönwiese, Mexico, Mennonite Low German (aka Plautdietsch) is the “saxiest accent in the […]

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