The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

jonathan toews

Unger Suspicion

Patrik Laine Has Now Officially Passed Jonathan Toews in Total Mennoniteness

February 21, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite his Finnish origin and inability to speak Plautdietsch, Winnipeg Jets star Patrik Laine is now officially even more Menno than Jonathan Toews. According to sources, his moustacheless beard was inspired by the […]

The Daily Bonnet

60% of Manitobans Claim to be Cousins of Jonathan Toews

April 17, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A new poll shows that just over 60% of the Manitoba population claims to be related to NHL star Jonathan Toews. “When you’ve got someone as famous as Jonathan Toews, suddenly everyone and […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Judges to Score Miss America Swimsuit Competition
    September 1, 2018
  • Gary Bettman Attempts to Move the Steinbach Pistons to Arizona
    October 3, 2016
  • KFC Implements New ‘Bring Your Own Bacon’ Policy
    August 25, 2024
  • Mennonite Church Boycotts ‘Sexy Centennial’ Celebrations
    July 1, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis Trying to Figure Out When to Throw Out the Christmas Cards
    January 11, 2024

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved