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hockey

Unger Games

France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2

February 15, 2026 Andrew

MILAN, ITALY The Canadian men’s hockey team was utterly humiliated this evening in Milan after winning only by a score of 10 to 2 versus France. “I gotta say, letting in 2 goals to France […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team

January 19, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets have signed Mr. Plett, 84, of Bethlehem Place to bring some much needed youth and agility to their aging lineup. “I lot of people can’t figure out what’s gone wrong […]

Unger Games

Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets

January 9, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB By the time the first period was over, the Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team were already up eight nothing on the slumping Winnipeg Jets. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Jets forward Jonathan […]

Unger Games

Stanley Cup Playoffs to be Extended Well into July Next Year

June 30, 2025 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Hockey has long been designated a cold weather sport, but not so in the Bettman era, where desert cities are given franchises and the Stanley Cup final stretches well into spring. “Next […]

Unger Games

Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly

June 20, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets scored a major coup this week after signing hometown hero and NHL legend Jonathan Toews, who, according to rumours, signed with the team exclusively because “they’re the only ones who […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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