PARIS, TX In a potentially historic election, American voters will head to the polls today to select the new Lesser Evil of the United States. “I’m confused,” said local rancher and undecided voter Dwight Owens, 37, of […]
OTTAWA, ON In a press conference this week, Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau announced he had “had it up to here with people calling me Justin.” The official honorific for a sitting Prime Minister is “Right Honourable […]
ALTONA, MB After failing to get the winning bid at the last five church quilt auctions, Mrs. Donna Toews, 71, of Altona is now claiming that the whole system is rigged. “I’ve got evidence – I […]
LANCASTER, PA CNN is expecting record viewership tonight as it plans for the first ever live broadcast of a Mennonite elder board meeting. “Some people haven’t been paying attention to the current Mennonite election cycle and […]
NEW YORK, NY Following a $12 billion bid for the notorious news outlet, a group of pacifist Mennonite investors has successfully taken ownership of Fox News and are planning to turn it into a channel that promotes […]
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