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The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite Heritage Week’ Comes and Goes Without a Single Mennonite Noticing

September 18, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The second annual Mennonite Heritage Week came and went this year without a single Mennonite in the entire country noticing. “Really? Mennonite Heritage Week? Was that this week?” wondered Mr. Zehr of Waterloo. […]

Unger Suspicion

Rather than Actually Fix the Road, One of these Bright Orange Signs Should Do the Trick

July 16, 2020 Andrew

THOMPSON, MB It’s orange-sign season in Manitoba, as officials have sent workers all over the province to put up signs telling people where the potholes are. “Hey, you can’t say we didn’t warn you,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Happy, Pentecostals Sad as Ontario Bans Dancing in Church

June 21, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Churches are reopening in Ontario this week with a number of restrictions. On the top of the list is a ban on dancing. Unsurprisingly, the new law has devastated Pentecostals but absolutely thrilled […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Still Waiting for the Rest of the Story from Paul Harvey

June 6, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba are unsure what they’re supposed to make of everything that’s been happening lately and are just waiting for Paul Harvey to explain it all to them in the words […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastors Release New ‘Tracing App’ that Tracks How Much Time You’ve Spent Reading the Bible

May 30, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Concerned pastors in the Abbotsford area have hired a local tech firm to create an app that traces how much contact each member of their congregation has had with the Word of God. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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