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The Daily Bonnet

With Toilet Paper in Short Supply, Mennonites Resort to Eaton’s Catalogues Once Again

April 2, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB While thousands of Canadians are panicked these days due to a short supply of toilet paper, Mennonites, on the other hand, haven’t been fazed by the shortage at all. “Well, it looks like […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Eaton’s Emm Kjalla’ to Re-open Under Bell MTS Place

September 21, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba were saddling up their horses in anticipation of the grand opening of the new bargain basement below the current hockey arena. The new ‘Eaton’s Emm Kjalla’ marks a triumphant […]

Unger Suspicion

Stash of Sears Catalogues Discovered Under Hugh Hefner’s Mattress

October 2, 2017 Andrew

HOLMBY HILLS, CA Days after the world’s most famous misogynist Hugh Hefner passed away at the age of 91, cleaning staff at the Playboy Mansion found a large stash of 1970s Sears catalogues beneath the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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