The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

containers

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Sour Cream Container Shockingly Contains Sour Cream

January 6, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Nettie Rogalsky of Saskatoon shocked fellow residents at Menno Dreams Retirement Home this week after it was revealed that all the sour cream containers in her freezer contained, well, sour cream. “I’ve […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Sells Margarine Container to Elon Musk for $44 Billion

April 29, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After months of heated negotiation, Mrs. Eleanor Brandt of Fresno just sold her top margarine container to investor Elon Musk for a record $44 billion. “He took it no questions asked,” said Mrs […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Puts Her Name on Margarine Container to Make Sure She Gets it Back

July 13, 2021 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB After having experienced a number of traumatic situations where she didn’t get her used margarine containers back, Mrs. Penner of Grunthal made sure to carefully write her name on each and every container […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Man Woos Potential Spouse by Eating Takis Fuego
    February 14, 2024
  • “It’s Not Dancing!” : Mennonites Gather for Weekly ‘Circle Games’
    January 31, 2020
  • Mennonite Parents Use Low German Code Language During Holiday Season
    December 19, 2017
  • ‘The Sound of Music’ Still Considered Edgy in Mennonite Communities
    December 3, 2016
  • Child With Eyes Open During Prayer Spots Child With Eyes Open During Prayer
    November 9, 2021

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved