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conscientious objector

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Mennonites ‘Conscientiously Object’ to Winter

January 21, 2017 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Every winter Mennonites across the frozen Canadian prairies are faced with a challenge to their faith – do they stay and violently fight the cold weather or flee for the south as Weather Objectors? […]

Unger Suspicion

We Have Now Officially Entered a Peculiar Alternate Universe Where Mel Gibson Makes Movies About Conscientious Objectors

November 4, 2016 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA With the utterly baffling release of Mel Gibson’s new pacifist-thriller Hacksaw Ridge, physicists around the world are suggesting we now have enough evidence to confirm that the controversial multiverse theory might actually have some validity. “Mel Gibson, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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