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coffee

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Falls Way Behind on Her Devotions

March 20, 2019 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mrs. Kehler of North Kildonan is being punished and forced to clean up after the next five faspas when it was discovered that she had not been keeping up with her devotions. […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Starts Rival Donut Shop

November 13, 2018 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Local man Tim Hiebert was sick and tired of having his small Mennonite town constantly overlooked by the big donut and coffee chains, so he decided to do something about it himself. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

Caf-Lib a Top Seller at Hip New Mennonite Coffee Shop

November 2, 2018 Andrew

REICHENBACH, MB Villagers in a small Mennonite town have been flocking to a new hip coffee shop called Oma’s Java Barn to get their hands on a cup of Oma’s delicious coffee substitute. “They can’t […]

Unger & Thirst

Unsure if New Church Friend’s a Teetotaler, Mennonite Woman Invites Her for ‘Coffee’

July 22, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Miss Liz Bergen, 29, had initially thought of asking her new friend Ashley from church to meet her at Sawney Bean’s pub for a pint of Guinness, but decided to play it safe […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Bans ‘Roll Up the Rim’ as Gambling

March 5, 2018 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The South Chilliwack Gospel Mennonite Church has banned members from rolling up the rim at Tim Hortons, as it violates the church’s strict teaching against games of chance. The church took the action […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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