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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026 Andrew

CARMAN, MB Mrs. Loewen of Carman has been enlisted by Manitoba Premier Wab Kinew to dust the entire province this weekend. “That was quite the dust storm,” said Kinew. “But luckily we have women like […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Quickly Cleans the House So Guests Don’t Learn the Truth

March 8, 2025 Andrew

ROSENORT MB When the Sawatzkys visit the Pletts, they’re always impressed with how immaculate everything is. The floors are spotless, the toilet bowl is glistening, there’s not a speck of dust anywhere. “I don’t know […]

The Daily Bonnet

Janitor Left to Clean Up Huge Mess After Mennonite Women “Spill the Tea”

January 31, 2025 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Darren Klippenstein, janitor at Fifth Mennonite Church in Grunthal, rushed to the scene this evening after he heard the Women’s Quilting Club had spent all evening “spilling the tea.” “We didn’t make much […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Comes Home with the Wrong Old Dutch

November 17, 2022 Andrew

BOISSEVAIN, MB Dave Neufeld, 37, of Boissevain was in hot water this week after he drove all the way to Brandon this afternoon to do some grocery shopping and came home with the wrong kind […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Retires Tobbdüak After Thirty Years of Service

July 9, 2021 Andrew

CAMPO 6A, MEXICO Mrs. Nita Krahn, of Campo 6A, held a lovely retirement ceremony for her favourite tobbdüak this week after the dish cloth could no longer stand up to the rigours of washing the family’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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