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christmas

Unger Conviction

Attempt at Singing ‘Silent Night’ in German Fizzles Out After First Line

December 20, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The annual Christmas sing-along at the Falk gathering this evening became quite awkward after someone suggested they do ‘Silent Night’ in the original German. “Oh, sure, they were gung ho at first, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Accidentally Sings Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ During Handel’s Messiah

December 17, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man, and former ‘Hymn Sing’ star Simon Hildebrandt, 61, messed up a performance of Handel’s Messiah this week after belting out Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ during the famous ‘Hallelujah Chorus.’ “I heard there […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Man Says ‘Merry Christmas’, Nothing Happens

December 16, 2019 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Absolutely nothing happened after local church-goer Billy Friesen, 42, greeted a stranger on the street with a hearty ‘Merry Christmas’ this past week. “I don’t get it,” said Friesen. “I was really hoping […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Devours Entire Advent Calendar One Week In

December 9, 2019 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Mrs. Jost, 51, was sick and tired of this “one chocolate a day” rule and decided to open all the boxes still left in her annual advent calendar and wolf down all the […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Mall Offering Free Stretcher Service for Shoppers During Holiday Season

December 1, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Beginning with Black Friday and ending on Christmas Eve, the Frosty Shores Mall in Winnipeg will be offering customers free gift wrapping, parking validation, and an escort out of the building on a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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