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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Divorces After Discovering Common Ancestor

January 25, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After years of searching genealogy websites and poring through family history books, local man Peter Nikkel of Altona, has learned that he and his wife Anne are distantly related. Upon discovering the news, […]

Unger Suspicion

Under New Trudeau Law, All Christian Summer Camps to Be Turned into “Reeducation Camps”

January 19, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In order to address the “unacceptable diversity of opinions on social issues” in Canada, the Trudeau government has recently passed a law requiring all Bible camps to be shut down and re-opened as […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School

January 18, 2018 Andrew

FREDRICTON, NB Reverend Unrau was called out of the adult Prayer Class yet again this Sunday after his son Timothy socked two other boys in the nose and called little Lisa Wilson a “Poopyface.” It […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lit Match Insufficient After Dad’s Been in There

January 17, 2018 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Sawatzky family of Edmonton has discovered the hard way that a single lit match is wholly insufficient to mask the mysterious odour that often emanates from the bathroom after Dad’s been in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dad Spares Rod, Son Not Spoiled

January 9, 2018 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB In a bold experimental parenting move, local Mennonite dad Tim Fehr spoke calmly with his 8-year-old son Nathaniel and explained the situation to him, rather than hauling out the belt. To the shock […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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