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breakfast

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Opts for Incontinental Breakfast

October 16, 2023 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND In what has been described as the most inadvisable breakfast order of the decade, Pete Wiens of Morden became the first customer at the Come On Down Inn in Grand Forks to […]

Unger & Thirst

Full Grown Man Still Eats Sugary Children’s Cereal

July 10, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Despite the protests of his loving wife Doris, Mr. Eby, 43, of Waterloo downs three bowls of sugary children’s cereal every morning at breakfast. “Count Chocula! Froot Loops! Lucky Charms! You name it, […]

Unger Suspicion

Public is Shocked to Discover Quakers Are More than Just Oats

January 4, 2017 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA Thanks to some silly marketers in the late 19th century, the general public has associated Quakers almost exclusively with oats. What has been obscured with this ‘oatization’ of the Quakers is their long-standing advocacy […]

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