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The Daily Bonnet

Hipsters Forced to Cut Off Beards After Violating Pennsylvania Mennonite Patent

October 29, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Thousands of hipsters across the United States will be forced to shave off their beards at the end of this month after a Pennsylvania court ruled these beards a “clear violation” of a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Checks His Privilege Only to Have It Lost By American Airlines

May 20, 2018 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA After attending a public lecture on intersectionality and white privilege at Eastern Mennonite University this past week, local man Peter Schrock decided to put what he learned in action and check his privilege […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Violently Tossed From Airplane in Midflight

April 15, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A Unified Airlines flight from Lancaster to Goshen was far from routine for one local Mennonite man, who was rudely removed from his seat and tossed from the plane in midair after it was […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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